Ladies and Gentlemen, One & all

George’s Speech

Ladies and Gentlemen, One & all
At speeches I’m a duffer
So I’ve written this poem – it won’t take long
I will not make you suffer

If you listen carefully
To my little rhyme
The quicker we can get on with it
And have a jolly good time

On the twenty fifth of July in
Nineteen sixty seven
We had our second Daughter
Our precious gift from Heaven

She entered our World without much fuss
Though for Jean I think some pain
On a typical English summers morn
It was pi----pouring down with rain

Sister Jacqui backed a cake
Her head was in a whirl
Brothers Pete & Steve said
“Not another bloomin girl!”

We bore her home with parental pride
Of our prayers she was the answer
And in due time we finally
Christened her Samantha

Then just before her third birthday
Without a thought of failure
I upped & took her one & all
My family to Australia

Even now in hindsight
And after a third decade
It was the best decision
That I have ever made

Sam took to the Sun the Surf & Sand
The clear blue pristine water
She loved it all & truly became
A West Australian Daughter

She studied hard, a perfectionist
Swotting was her rule
All to be rewarded when
She was crowned Dux of her School

Now if all of this seems lovely
And it is quite truly so
There is another side of Sam
I think you may not know

No matter what she touches
However trivial or bland
It all has a terrible habit of
Just coming apart in her hands

Now upon this trait I’ve thought long & hard
For something to put a cap on
But in the end I just gave up
She’s a disaster waiting to happen

But beneath all this frivolity
One thing I know for certain
Sam is and always has been
A selfless caring person

So if all my critical rubbishing
Seems a bit hard to bear
It’s all a part of an old old game
That Sam & I both share

We’ve been doing it for all our lives
Together in our trust
For we both know there will always be
A very special bond between us

So finally and at long long last
She met her Knight so brave
Small wonder they took so long to meet
With him down a bloody cave!

She really had after so so long
Met her perfect suitor
If only she could entice him away
From that infernal computer

Now that brings us to Rauleigh
Who’s love for Sam he shares
With almost half a household
Of fluffy teddy bears

I’m sure the bears don’t mind
In fact I’m certain that
As they share the house with dozens
Of Rauleigh’s crazy hats!

So on this very happy day
We have gained another Son
I hope he is as pleased as me
Our two families are now one

And now that they are truly joined
My Darlings Sam & Rauleigh
As they set out together on
The next chapter of their story

I gladly hand Sam over
To sit on Rauleigh’s knee
To fill his heart with her love & joy
Just as she did me.